Why do cows wear bells?Because their horns don't work.What did the pirate say when he turned 80?Aye Matey.To the handicapped guy who stole my bag--You can hide but you can't run.I took the shell off my racing snail, thinking it would make him run faster.If anything, it made him more sluggish.And the Lord said unto John, "Come forth and you will receive eternal life"But John came fifth, and won a toaster.Q: How do you think the unthinkable?A: With an itheberg.Someone stole my mood ring.I don't know how I feel about that.I tried to catch fog yesterday--Mist.The first rule of Alzheimer's club--Is don't talk about chess club.Why does a chicken coop have two doors?If it had four doors it would be a chicken sedan.I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.She looked surprised.This one is compliments of DennisThis happened to a friend of mine. Beware, it could happen to you. Ladies, please pass this on to your husbands, fathers, uncles, etc. so they will not fall prey to this. ‘You haven’t killed me,’ Spencer says looking straight at Delgrious. ‘What is it you plan to do with me?’ The demon laughs. ‘As much as I’d like this to be my decision I have no part of this.’ ‘I find that very hard to believe.’ ‘Oh it’s very true,’ Angela says. ‘He is only here for his own personal amusement. As a matter of fact, not even Tancheres knows that we have you.’ ‘You know, that’s a name I keep hearing a lot,’ Spencer says. ‘And it is one you won’t need to worry about much here soon,’ the other woman says. Spencer turns his head to regard the woman and this time he looks at her with a different regard. There is something about this woman that catches his eye in a different light, something vaguely familiar about her. ‘I’ll leave you ladies alone,’ Delgrious says. ‘I have some business I must attend to.’ Neither of the women acknowledges the demon as he exits the room and closes the door. Instead both their attentions are focused on the man still on the bed like two.
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